Farewell and Goodbye

It can’t happen. It shouldn’t happen. It should end right now. I cannot do this. Please, don’t let this ever end… What should have been a week of training became a week of pain, sorrow, and intense enjoyment for Ruki. Of course, there was training, hard training. But there also was her and Takato, alone, for an entire week, and even though they both knew it was wrong, even though they both knew it should not happen, there was nothing but the two of them, and no one there to yell no.

Even when she was looking back on it, cursing, crying, she never blamed herself or Takato for letting it happen. It wasn’t that she just wanted to be with him, her entire body longed for him and she could not resist it. Was this love? Ruki did not even know the answer. She was with him, they were one, and she did not have to be alone, even if it was only for a short while.

To be with him, to be close to him, to feel his body heat against hers in the darkness of the night… It was too real to be a dream, but it wasn’t reality, either. Every day, when she was send out to do her training, it hit her like a cold waterfall. It shouldn’t be like this, what about Takato’s fiancée Flora, what would the rest of the Asano bond think? In so many ways, it was so wrong, and she was disgusted by herself to be a part of it. Yet every evening, when she came back to the cave and she saw Takato waiting for her, all these reasons melted like snow would melt in springtime, and she only wanted to be with him, close, warm, protected, together like a flame in the night that could keep her warm forever.

Yet the end was coming. Ruki knew it would come. She knew that after seven nights, they would return to the cabin. She had known it from the first kiss on the hilltop and the idea had never left her mind. Whatever would happen, whatever Takato would decide they had to do, would it ever be like this? Therefore, every night, she wanted to enjoy it more, dreading the day it would all end.

She couldn’t believe her eyes when she woke up one morning, Takato not beside her, all his stuff packed. This was it? This was it already? It couldn’t be… this could not have been seven nights.
“Takato…” She whispered, hoping she had been mistaken and he would come back to her and they could be together again. He did not come.
“Ruki… pack your things. Your training here is done. We have to get back to the forest.” Ruki’s heart froze when she realized Takato had changed once more. The distance in his voice, the pretending… it was all back. It was over.

“Right…” She whispered, fighting the tears in her eyes.
It was over. Their seven nights in the mountains… it was all over now. She silently packed her things while Takato cleaned up the cave, so it would look as if they had not been there. As if nothing had ever happened at all…
“Takato!” Ruki yelled when Takato was gathering the remains of the wood they had used to cook their dinner every night. She could not hold it in.
“What is it?” He asked.

“Are you just going to erase everything as if nothing ever happened?” She yelled desperately, hoping he would come over and hold her once more. Takato stopped moving, and closed his eyes.
“I thought you would understand that this is what we have to do from the beginning.”
“What? No! What are we going to do? How are you going to tell Flora, and the others? I don’t want to see them hurt but…”
“If you do not want to see them hurt, Ruki…” Takato interrupted her, “Then do not linger on it any more. I will not tell Flora, and you will not, too.”

“You cannot… you cannot ask that of me...” Ruki cried.
“I’m going to have to. We need you, I need you, Ruki, and you need us. You know that. But I cannot and will not leave Flora; I love her.” Takato replied. He was as cold and distant as he had been before this week.
“So… you are saying… this all… everything… has been a mistake?” Ruki asked, hardly able to see through her tears.

“A mistake? No… it was not a mistake. You and I, Ruki… we have a special relationship. We had to establish that. It has been done now.”
“But…” But… Ruki did not know what she wanted to say anymore.
There was so much she wished to say and yell, yet she could not think of anything. She knew it would end, she knew it would change, but Takato was acting like nothing special happened between them now.
“And… Flora… what about her? Are you just going back to her as if nothing happened?” She finally asked, even though it was not the thing she cared about most now.

“ Nothing has happened that concerned her. Maybe I will tell her, but she will not care as much as you think. Flora and I have a history you do not know anything about, and our relationship is different and deeper than you know of. Don’t linger on things that do not even concern you, Ruki.”
He was dismissing it. He was talking about everything that had happened like it had been nothing more than a walk in the park. But to her, everything had changed. He had stolen things from her… Things she could never get back now. Her mind paralyzed, she packed her bag. She followed Takato off the mountain, completely unaware of her surroundings. The lanterns, the rocks, the small bushes that began to appear the further they descended the mountain… She did not even notice them. 

She followed Takato back into the darkness of the forest. The sky disappeared behind a cloud of leaves, and she followed Takato because she knew that was what she would always do. She couldn’t help it. She had no control over her emotions anymore. Deep inside, she was aware of a faint anger, but it was pushed down because she needed him so badly. She would follow him, she would do as he said… because it was the only way she may have a chance to have one more night like that.

Ivy looked out over the island from the mansion, as she had done so many times the previous month. It would be the last time though. At least, for now it would be. The morning was almost gone, and very soon she and Taira would set out. Home… it had been the only place she had known for so long, but now, it felt so distant and remote. She had never thought it would be possible, but this island had become another home. She didn’t even want to leave.

For a month, she had lived here, with Taira and Fjaril, and the butterflies. She had helped Taira with the daily chores, so Fjaril had time to overcome his grief. She had helped the butterflies maintain the island, and she had learned so much. She had learned not to remove dead flowers, but to let them lie, so they too could reunite with the earth once more. It was so different from what she was used to; when she had helped Tsuyo in the castle garden, they had always removed the dying plants, because they were not pretty anymore, and the garden of the queen had to be tidy and clean, of course.

Ivy looked at her bag that was standing against the mansion’s wall and sighed deeply. She did not know what she would miss more, the beautiful view of the island, whether it was morning, evening, afternoon or night, or her friends the butterflies, and then especially Sindo. She had grown so fond of him… Every day they had spent together, talking, working, and having fun. She would miss him. They had already said goodbye the night before, but he would come to see them off, he had promised.

Taira… she was still inside. Ivy wondered how much longer she needed to say goodbye to Fjaril. They had been together a lot, the past month. They had so much to talk about… And they probably had to rediscover each other, too. Or at least, that was what Taira had told her. Ivy had not really understood what her sister was talking about, but she knew she and Fjaril needed a lot of time together. They loved each other a lot, she knew that much. It was so obvious… They loved each other so much that they both understood they each had more important things to do. One day, maybe, they would be together, but for now, they were saying goodbye, and they both understood it had to be done.

Ivy heard movement from behind, and when she turned she saw Taira and Fjaril come out of the mansion. Fjaril was carrying Taira’s bag.
“Are you all done, Ivy?” Taira asked.
“Yes, I’m all ready to go.” Ivy replied.
“Good. Let us go, then.” Taira smiled, and she walked out of the mansion.
Ivy picked up her bag from the ground and followed her sister. She followed the road that swirled around the hill on which the mansion stood. It would be the last time she would walk on this road, at least for now. She was almost unable to keep in her tears. No matter how much she longed to see her mother and her other sisters again, she would sincerely miss this island.

She followed the road, passed the small pond, crossed the many small bridges and finally entered the thin row of trees that sheltered the valley from the lake. When she got out of the trees she saw the swirling mist in front of her that separated the island from the rest of the world. It was dark outside the island, she noticed. Only now did she realize how bright everything had been inside.

In front of her lay the wooden rowing boat which she and Taira had used to get here. Next to it, she saw, was Sindo.
“Hi there, Sindo.” She said to him, wondering where the other butterflies were.
“Hi, Ivy. I have to apologize from my friends… this part of the island is very far from the prana spring, and some grow weak when they are here for too long. I do too, but… I just wanted to see you off.”
“Oh, Sindo! You could have told me so, we could have met inside!” Ivy said, shocked.
“No, no.” Sindo replied. “I wanted to be here… I wanted to see you two take off. I will be fine.”

“Okay, then.” Ivy did not want to go against Sindo’s wishes. She looked at Taira, who was looking at Fjaril.
 “Well, I guess this is it then.” Her sister said.
“Yea… You promise you will write me when you have returned home safely?” Fjaril asked.
“Yes, of course I will. I will write you a lot. Promise to write me too. And I will come back sooner this time. I promise.” Taira said.
“I promise too. I’m not going to lose you again, Taira.” Fjaril hugged Taira, and they kissed.

Taira let go, and moved towards the boat.
“Goodbye, Fjaril.”
“Goodbye, Taira. You too, Ivy. Take good care of yourself, and take good care of each other.”
“We will. Goodbye, Fjaril. Goodbye, Sindo.” Ivy said.
“Goodbye, Ivy, Taira. May you have a safe and swift journey home.” Sindo said.
Taira stepped into the boat, and after they had put both their bags in, Ivy followed. After they exchanged goodbyes again, Fjaril untied the boat, and they slowly drifted away from the shore. Ivy waved while Taira moved the oars. The pink glow was still visible, but the island really was so much more beautiful from the inside than from the outside.

“When you go back… Taira, can I come with you again?” Ivy asked, when they were away from the shore.
“Yes… of course you can! You have become good friends with Sindo and the other butterflies, have you not?” Taira asked.
Ivy nodded. She had. They were just such magnificent creatures… She wished one of them could have come with them, so she could have introduced all her other sisters to them. But that could never happen. Yet, she could go back, and she promised herself that she definitely would, one day.