The story of Ruki

Taira followed Fjaril with dread in her heart. She was so happy for one single moment, when she saw Fjaril… but when her girl was not with him she already knew something was wrong. Ruki was not here…. Why did she leave? What happened to her? Did Fjaril know where to find her? She had so many questions she did not know where to start.

She followed Fjaril to the garden behind the mansion. The large garden stretched out over the hill. In here, plants were neatly arranged even though no one ever attended them. Small paths could lead you through the flowers so you could admire every one of them from close by. Next to the small pond in the middle was a terrace with four white decorated chairs on it. She followed Fjaril to the chairs and she sat down on one of them. She instantly remembered all the beautiful evenings she had sat there with Fjaril, wondering about their unborn baby, sometimes forgetting about the darkness that was surely looking for her in the outside world…

When they both sat down, Taira asked “So… Ruki? What happened?”.
“Taira… let me start at the beginning. After you left us all those years ago, Ruki was extremely sad. She cried non stop for days. It took us months to get the little girl to smile again. But, in time, she learned to live with your absence. Though she did not forget about you, she grew up as a normal girl, enjoying playing outside in the water, with the butterflies, and in time with her cousin. My brother had a baby boy… but I will tell you about that later.

Ruki grew up as a normal healthy girl, even without her mother around. She did not notice her powers because she grew up in the west, but I could feel the magic of your lands flow through her, and grow stronger every day. In many ways, she is truly your daughter, Taira. But when she became a teenager… things changed. She became very interested in who she was and where she came from. I suppose in this stage of life that is only natural, but because I could not give her answers about her mother’s part of her bloodline, she became obsessed with it. For days she stared into the water, wondering who her mother was and where she came from.

In the end, I felt I had no choice. I had to tell her what I knew about you, about your heritage. I know I promised you that I would never tell anyone, not even our daughter, until you came back, but I could no longer keep it from her. She was fading away in thoughts that she should not have. Ruki is a smart girl, and I was certain that if I explained it to her in the correct way, she would understand.

Unfortunately, that was a grave mistake. Or maybe… she understood all too clearly. I told her how you were taken by darkness, but that you were strong and that one day it would be defeated, and you would return. However, Ruki was not satisfied. She knew now where her mother was, in the darkness in the east. And somehow, she was determined to go out there and find her mother, save her from the darkness that consumed you. She was so sure she could do it, that she was strong enough. I forbid her to go, but one morning, I found the boat to the island was gone. My brother found it later on the shore, and Ruki was gone. We never found her… I can only assume she has gone to the east.

Unfortunately, I already suspected she would do something like this before she even did it. I knew I could not and would not lock her up, but I did one thing to assure her safety, if she would truly run away to the east. I sealed her powers of the east with a simple spell. It is not strong and she can lift it if she tries, if she is aware of her powers, but I felt it would do because it is not something I told her about. She would not try to use a magic she does not know anything about.”

Ruki… her little girl traveling to the east all alone… It was a thought Taira could hardly bear. And it was all because of her… because she had not been strong enough to defy Aras, her little girl went out into the large world all alone. What had happened to her? Was she even still alive?
“And you have no idea where she is now?” Taira asked.
“No. I do not. I searched everywhere for her, but I could not find her. I am afraid she went to the east before I could reach the breach. And as you know… I cannot pass it. I needed to stay here, to look over Batafurai.”

“And you could not send someone else?” Taira asked.
No matter how much she loved Fjaril, she was angry at him for letting their daughter go like that. Why had he not protected her like he had said he would?
“No, I could not, and I would not. I realized at some point, if she is that desperate to go, she had to follow her own path. Ruki is a special girl, Taira. She is not someone who I can bind to this place because the world is too dangerous. She has to find her own place in this world and we can not do that for her.”

Taira sighed. She knew that. Her daughter… even though, or maybe because, she was her heir to the throne of the Friendship Lands, she could not bind her daughter to her will. But Ruki… was she still out there looking for her? If not, then where was she, and what was she doing? She had only wanted to see her, and to protect her… something she had never been able to do.
“So, Taira… I take it that you have not met our daughter?” Fjaril asked.

What a stupid question, Taira thought. If she had, would she be here asking about Ruki right now?
“No, I have…”
She had.
The thought hit her like thunder hitting a large tree.
She had met Ruki.
Like her earlier memories that she had recovered, it felt as if a dam had broken and the memories overflowed her. All of a sudden, it became very clear. That night in the mountains, the little girl she had met… And who she had send away.

That night in the mountains, she had met her little girl. She had been patrolling the area, scouting to see if no one was trying to enter the mountains. If they were, he had ordered her to kill them at once.  She had not questioned his command. She had never questioned it before, and it was not something she would do now. The little paths that she had discovered led her through the mountains, but she had seen nobody.

Just as she had decided the area was clear, she heard rocls falling down. She had been instantly on the alert, and had rushed to the area. There she saw her; a little girl, a young girl of barely fourteen summers old, trying to climb the mountains on a forsaken path that no one ever took anymore. Taira did not stop to think why this girl was here. She was an intruder, and she had to be killed off. That was all there was to it.

She rushed to the girl and activated her powers. Yet when she got close, she found she could not attack her. Something inside her stopped her from doing so. It made her annoyed, for she could not carry out the orders her master had given her. Trying again and again, she could only hold the girl in one place, but she could not finish her off.
“Mother!” The little girl had yelled. “Mother, it is me… your daughter. Do you recognize me?”

She did not understand what the girl had talked about. She had not cared. She had not felt anything, she had not known, and she had no desire to find out. Whatever the girl’s affairs here were, she had no interest in them. And she would not even try. All she had cared about was carrying out her master’s task.
“You call me mother, yet I have no child.” She had said to the girl.

It was the truth. She would never have a child for it would bother her master. The girl had looked at her with shocked eyes, but she had only focused on activating her powers, which she was still not able to do. Whoever this girl was, she was a nuisance. She had to disappear.  

“Yes… you do! Do you not remember? Father said you… I wanted to see you! I want to see you in my own memories instead of inside those of father!”
Father… She did not know the girl’s father. Yet her hold over this girl had become weaker and weaker with every word the girl spoke. What was this magic that the girl wielded that weakened her powers? She realized she could not carry out her master’s task. He would be angry with her, and she had deserved it. But the girl had to leave. She had to go, she had to hide. Why she felt this way she could hardly explain. She wanted to explain because it defied her master’s wishes, but something inside her told her she would never be able to kill the girl, and she had to leave.

“You, child who were born in the west. Go, run, and hide. The future of the world should not involve you.” She said, unknowing what it was she was speaking about. The girl, who was still unable to move because of her fading grasp, was staring at her. “What? Mother, I do not understand. Please, let me help you. Let me take you away from here.” She pleaded.
“I cannot go away from here, and I will not go away from here. I belong here, and you do not. We do not belong together, no matter what claims you make to me. Now go, run away, and do not show yourself here again, or I will be forced to kill you.”

”But mother…”
“I am NOT your mother. I deny every connection to you. Now go, run, and hide, disappear!” She had yelled.
With the last power she had over the girl, she knocked her unconscious. She had dragged the girl to the bottom of the mountains, and had left her there to wake up. Then she had gone back to her master, reported that all problems had been taken care of, and she had forgotten all about this encounter with the girl. Her master’s tasks were the only thing that mattered, and the girl was not involved in them, so it was not worthy to remember her.

”No…” Taira whispered, while tears were flowing out of her eyes like rivers flowing out of a mountain in spring. Her little girl, her golden child, she had gone out in the world looking for her, and she had succeeded. But she had sent her away. She had told her girl there was no place for her in this world, and had told her to hide. Somehow, her feelings that had been sealed away had prevented her from doing something even more horrible, but that did not make things right. Her girl was now out there, alone, her purpose taken away.

Fjaril stared at her. “Taira, please… please, tell me what happened.”
“I…I…” Taira could not even begin to explain. She could not talk. She felt sick and wanted to throw up. She had sent her daughter away. She had denied any connection to her. She had told her daughter, who had run away from home to find her, to help her, that she had no daughter, that she was not related and not interested in her, that her live had to serve no purpose.

Fjaril got up out of his chair and hold her. He held her, and Taira did not know for how long. All she could think of was her little girl who was now somewhere in the world, hiding, all alone, and she could not be there for her. She could not tell her she was sorry, she could not explain, not only because she did not know where to look but also because this was not something she could ever forgive herself or be forgiven for. She had done something unforgivable… She had denied not only her daughter’s place as her daughter, but also her daughter’s place in this world.