Silent Recovery

The sunlight that hit her closed eyes made everything go red. She turned around to sleep some more, but she found she was unable to do so. She could no longer pretend it had all been just a bad dream. Ivy opened her eyes and was instantly blinded by the sharp light. She had even gotten used to the darkness, and now the light was torture. Would it ever go away?

This very morning she dreaded getting up even more so than the previous two. This afternoon Junai and Marana would be buried. It was only three days ago that the black pony was defeated… yet it felt like it was an age. She did not remember much of that first night. She vaguely remembered Twinkle Star and Câlin hauling her back to the castle, but other than that it was all blurry. Her mother had told her she had slept, mostly.

She had visited Aline the day before. She was still in shock and so very sad because reality was finally hitting her. She had lost her husband and her child in one night… And now she had to bury them both. Her parents had arrived, of course, but Aline had closed herself from the outside world completely.

And there was the matter of the two ponies… apparently, her mother’s oldest daughters. She found it hard, very hard to believe, but her mother had given her and her sisters no other choice. Well, so far, she had hardly seen them. The blue one… Hikary or something, she had spent most of her time outside the castle, and the yellow one… Taira, she had not seen her at all. Would they even be there, at the funeral? It would not be wise… how would Aline react? Those who had killed her child and husband…

Reluctantly Ivy got out of her warm bed and walked to her mirror. Her hair was still a mess, as was her coat… Would she ever get it clean again? She’d just had to take another bath today… After she had brushed, or at least tried to, her hair she walked to her balcony and opened her curtains. The sun was indeed shining, but the land was a mess. So much lack of sunlight… the entire harvest was devastated, she had already heard her mother talk about it. They would need to purchase food from other countries, assuming the darkness had not spread too far out of their kingdom. Ivy doubted it.

It would be a hard winter, but her mother had already send messengers to the trade route and to the Tokowa lands and Kin. They would live through it… but her beautiful little country had never looked so devastated. The once green grass had turned yellow and the dark mud seemed to be everywhere. The river did not seem to shine so brightly, the sky seemed less blue somehow… And she knew it would never return to the country in which she grew up. Ever since her sisters had arrived, everything had changed, but it was changing even more than she could have ever predicted.

Her gaze turned towards the castle gardens. They too were hit hard by the darkness. All the flowers had withered, the green seemed to have disappeared completely… It would never be the same again. She saw someone coming out of the castle door. Ah, the blue pony… probably on her way out again.
“Wait…” Ivy realized she still had to talk with that pony. In the end, it had been her who had sealed her powers… And maybe she could undo it now, too.

Ivy rushed out of her room and down the stairs through the corridor into the garden, where she found Hikary already at the castle doors.
“Hoy!” She yelled, and the pony stopped.
“Ivy… Can I help you with something?” Hikary asked as Ivy finally reached her, out of breath.
“I… yes. You… I mean, it was you, right, who… my powers…” Ivy suddenly did not dare to speak out loud, afraid that Hikary would become upset
 “Yes… I am sorry, Ivy. That was me, I’m afraid.”

“Ah…” Ivy had at least expected Hikary to deny, or to have trouble admitting it, but she seemed not to be afraid to admit it.
“Well, I was wondering… why, I mean, why did you not kill me when he… well… and my powers…” To Ivy’s surprise, Hikary actually smiled faintly.
“I will explain… or I will try to. Will you walk with me for a little while?”

Ivy agreed and followed Hikary out of the castle gates.
When they were closed, Hikary said, “I did… I did not want to kill you. He was not close back then but yes, it was his order to kill anyone who left the castle. And when I realized you were there, I went to you with every intend to kill you. But when you were standing there, so afraid… I could not do it. I simply couldn’t take your life like that. I think the moment he resurrected himself something happened to the seals he placed before, because I began to retrieve my feelings and memory little by little. Maybe I somewhere knew you were my little sister, and I would never… kill someone now.”

“But… why my powers?” Ivy asked. Hikary’s explanation sounded plausible, but she still found it so terribly hard to believe that your memory and emotions could be locked away, even though something similar had happened to her.
“Because he would have detected you if I had not, and he would have killed you. I did not want that to happen.”

“So… can you undo it?” Ivy asked hopefully.
Her world seemed to crash when Hikary shook her head. “I am sorry, Ivy. I do not think I can do that. I would not know how. I am willing to try. I will look into it and I will do anything I can to find out if there is a way to reverse it. But I am afraid I will not be able to do it right now.”

“But I…” Ivy wanted to yell at Hikary. She wanted to shout, she wanted to scream. But she found she could not. This pony… Even while her mind was sealed she had tried to help her. Ivy found she could not even doubt her words for she knew they were true. And she had promised to do whatever it took to help her…
“I’m sorry, Hikary. I guess I cannot help but to be a bit disappointed. But, well, thank you, for saving me, and thank you, that you will look into it.”

“Don’t worry about it, Ivy. Believe me, I feel really bad about it myself. But not like… Marana. She died… because of me. It was me who…” Hikary choked on her words.
“Well, Ivy, please… for now, do not call me Hikary. It is a name I do not deserve right now. I did some horrible things and I have to set them right. For now, please, call me Rain.”

Poor Aline… she looked like such a mess. She would never truly recover from this, Twinkle Star knew. She had lost everything, everyone that was important to her. How could she go on now? And she did not want to see or talk to Twinkle Star, either… Twinkle Star had tried to be there for her friend, but Aline had not wanted her to. Twinkle Star did not really understand why, but she would accept Aline’s wish.

It had taken her less time to recover than she had initially thought. After one day she already felt like most of her strength had returned, and she had instantly gone to Câlin. Of course, the girl felt really upset. She had been forced to do things that she had never wanted to do. But he was her father, and after her mother had died, Câlin had always been afraid to be left alone, to have no family. Twinkle Star had done all she could to comfort her, but Câlin was still upset. Well, of course she was. Câlin had explained what had happened when Junai died. Aras had connected to her, and through her, because she was a mortal and he was not, was he able to connect with Junai and murder him. And now Câlin felt she was the cause of Junai’s death. Twinkle Star had tried to make Câlin understand it was definitely not like that, that she had been used and that she would not have been able to resist, but that did not stop Câlin from feeling guilty.

Her mother stepped forward. It was cold, the wind felt as if it carried the first signs of winter. The light grey clouds that hovered in the sky were nothing like the clouds from before, but they did cover the happy light of the sun, which was the best thing that could happen to them now. For this funeral… Both Marana and Junai would be buried next to Crystal. The royal graveyard… Twinkle Star had not thought they would have needed one already. Her mother had already promised that a shrine would be build like the one there used to be in the old lands, where their foremothers could be worshipped.

“My dear family, my dear friends,” her mother started, “today we are here to say our final goodbye to three beloved members of our family.”
It was hard for her mother, Twinkle Star was sure. She could see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice. The poor woman… she had been through so much the last couple of days, she looked twenty years older.

Taira and Hikary… Twinkle Star had been surprised to see them standing next to her mother. She had known her mother would instantly accept them. Her memories did not lie, and she felt guilty about forgetting about them for so long, even though it was absolutely not her fault. But to let them stand next to her now, even though they had partially caused this? Hikary had already admitted that she was the one who had killed Marana, and Taira had already said that she was the one who forced Hikary to do it for Aras. Surely they had not acted out of their own free will, but still… Should they be here now, so close to her mother?

“Junai… the day you appeared before me I know instantly that you would make a great contribution to our country. And so you did. Everywhere you went you tried to help and assist and your great advice was appreciated everywhere. And when you met Aline… you two belonged together. You will be greatly missed by all of us. May you be in peace now, watched over by the Guardians, together with your child.

Marana, I never had the pleasure to meet you after the eruption. I only knew of your existence through my daughter Twinkle Star. Yet you helped her on her way. You watched over the crown so that it can once more shine on my head. You helped my mother through her final days. I will always regret the fact that I could never thank you properly for all of this. May you, too, be in peace.”

It was customary that on a royal funeral only the queen spoke. Maybe that was for the best. Aline was crying so loud she would not be able to say anything. Her parents were holding her close now. But they would never be able to take the pain away… the pain of losing the one she loved most in the entire world. Twinkle Star gave Câlin a small hug. What would she have done of she had lost Câlin…?

A pony Twinkle Star did not recognize covered the graves with white leaves. A sad harp was playing from behind. One by one, Regina first, the attendants walked to the graves and bowed deeply out of respect. Twinkle Star followed after Stelline and her children, and Câlin followed her. The graves looked so peaceful… But those whose death was caused by another on purpose, would they ever be able to rest?

When Twinkle Star and Câlin were done paying respect, they turned around to join Regina and the others. She saw Aline standing, still surrounded by her parents, her eyes red from crying. Aline saw her now, too. But she no longer looked sad when she saw her. Nor relieved. Only anger. Anger at Twinkle Star for still being with Câlin, after she had caused Junai’s death.