Visions and Thoughts

“Why doesn’t it… It’s not lighting up, is it, mother?” Stelline asked, panicking. She took the crown off her head to see for herself, but of course there was nothing to be seen. The stone had not lit up, and even Regina was at a loss for words, now.
“It’s okay… it doesn’t have to mean anything, right, mother?” Twinkle Star said, knowing fully well that of course, it did mean something, but she desired to comfort Stelline first.

“Right, Twinkle Star. Maybe… it’s just not been used for so long it can’t light up twice. I know it ceased to light up if my mother used it often. Or maybe it just doesn’t see you as the heir to the Old Lands because it feels those cease to exist… And I am the last queen of those parts. I don’t know. Or maybe it is simply because you are a unicorn. It could be anything. Don’t worry about it, Stelline. You are my heir, and no one else.”

But Twinkle Star was not so sure of her mother’s words. Even if all of the things her mother had said were true, Twinkle Star still thought it would have shone at least a little bit. But it had been completely dark. Stelline put the crown back on the table where Regina covered it with a blanket. They both looked confused, and Stelline was looking for an excuse to get away.
“I must… go back to my children. I hope to see you at dinner, mother.”
She bowed slightly and then rushed out of the room.

Twinkle Star looked at her mother who shook her head slightly.
“Why didn’t it light up, mom?” Twinkle Star asked.
“I don’t know, honey. I honestly don’t know. She is my first born and she should become queen. All her life in the old lands she has been treated as such and even my mother never doubted it. But it is almost impossible to disregard the tokens the crown gives us. But what if it is not Stelline, Twinkle Star, who then?” Her mother asked.
“I don’t know… I honestly don’t know…” Twinkle Star answered.
“Do you think I made a mistake to make Stelline the heir here, too? Do you think, maybe, Ivy is supposed to rule here after all?”
Well, it could be, Twinkle Star thought. Stelline was the heir to the Lands that had died. She had no real attachment to these grounds, while Ivy had lived here for as long as she could remember… Still, it seemed weird. Should someone with so little royal powers become queen, while her older sisters were around as well… or were they supposed to fade, was her family no longer supposed to be strong because their country wasn’t?

“Or maybe, it was always supposed to be someone else. Maybe, Joker… or another one of my daughters…”
While Regina fell silent Twinkle Star could already sense what was coming up, and she wasn’t happy about it at all. Sure enough, her mother did as Twinkle Star had sensed.
“Do you want to try it, Twinkle Star?”
“No.” Twinkle Star said firmly. “I have no intention of ever becoming queen and you know that, mother. There is no reason for me to try.”
“Yes… I know. I am sorry, Twinkle Star.”

Twinkle Star knew her mother meant her apologies, but she didn’t feel like staying much longer now. There was nothing left to say to her mother, and she felt her mother wanted to be alone now, to think some things over. “I will be leaving now, mother. I will see you at dinner, I hope.”
She bowed slightly and her mother smiled.
 “Yes, I will see you there. Thank you, for being here, my daughter.”
“Of course.” With this, Twinkle Star walked to the large doors and left the room.

As she walked into the hall and closed the door behind her, she felt her stomach rumble. Indeed, she hadn’t eaten anything all day, and it was way past noon already. She decided to head for the kitchens first, before she would go fetch Câlin from the gardens where she was playing with Tsuyo. During their way back she had decided it would be good Câlin would learn more about the Friendship Lands and the history of their family, and she had decided to start with that this afternoon. She was pretty sure Câlin would enjoy to learn more, and she enjoyed her writing and reading lessons well enough.

When she entered the kitchen she noticed Ivy was preparing some food as well. No, she realized after she had observed her sister for a few moments because she did not seem to notice her at all, Ivy was playing with some food. Her mind was in a completely different place. In fact, she probably hadn’t even noticed Twinkle Star had just entered the kitchen.

“Hey, Ivy.”
Ivy startled and turned around. Her sister Twinkle Star was standing there, beautiful as ever with her long pink mane and her dreamy eyes. She was always so… free.
“Oh, hello, Twinkle Star. I didn’t hear you enter.”
“I’m sorry to have startled you. Are you preparing some food?” Twinkle Star asked.
Why… even though Ivy had gotten used to Twinkle Star’s presence, she was always… a little like she had been, the day she had arrived at the castle. Dreamlike. Not real. Not really there.

“I’m making some soup. Do you want some, too?” Ivy asked, and Twinkle Star accepted, saying she was starving.
While Ivy was adding some more ingredients to the soup, she noticed Twinkle Star sat down at the kitchen table. She had wanted to be alone for a bit longer, to think… but she knew now her sister would not give her that rest. Yet Twinkle Star said nothing, and Ivy didn’t dare to look at her right now.

Of course Twinkle Star suspected something. She always noticed these kind of things, and she knew better than to think she would be able to hide it now that it concerned herself. If only… but no. Yet she had promised her mother an answer in two days… But she didn’t even really want to think about it.

“What is it that is on your mind, Ivy?”
As she had suspected, Twinkle Star had noticed… something.
“Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.” She replied, hoping Twinkle Star would be satisfied with that answer. Of course, she was not.
“If there’s nothing I don’t understand why you don’t want to talk about it.”
 Ivy sighed and finally turned around. Twinkle Star was still sitting at the table, staring at her with those intriguing eyes. The same eyes as Câlin has, she realized not for the first time, and the same eyes… as the ones of her who killed Crystal.

“There’s not nothing… but it’s between me and mother. It does not concern you, Twinkle Star.”

“doesn’t it? Then why do you walk around with such a gloomy face all the time?”
Ivy wanted to scold Twinkle Star for always putting her nose where it does not belong. Why was she always so hungry for knowledge of things that did not concern her? But she felt relieved also, that finally, someone noticed she did not feel okay.
“I don’t do it on purpose.” She said instead, and she was irritated when Twinkle Star just smiled with her sweetest smile.
“Of course you don’t. But I can’t help but noticing it. And I want you to know that if something is bothering you, you can always come to me if you want to talk about it.”

“Thank you. I will.” Ivy turned back to her soup that was boiling already. Twinkle Star didn’t say anything, and even though Ivy knew this was only because she hoped Ivy would bring it up herself… She had to admit it was working. To have someone to discuss this with… And she knew Ivy would not tell anyone else, the main reason she had not told Fleur yet. Maybe she would have told Aline… but she wasn’t here.

“Twinkle Star…” She whispered softly, without looking at her sister.
“Yes?”
“Have you… I mean, when mother asked you something you didn’t want to do, you ran away, right?”
“Yes, I did.”
 “And you came back.”
“That I did as well.”
“Why?”
She could hear Twinkle Star take a deep breath. Was this still painful for her to talk about?
“Well… someone told me… I would not find anything at the place where I was hiding. That I was looking for my destiny… and it was not there. So I left and I went looking for what it was, then, if it was not there. And I don’t think even now I know… But I felt my duty was to this country. So I went back.”

“Heh… and now, would you do anything for that duty?” Ivy asked.
“No, of course not. There are things far more important. My freedom. Ponies that I care about… Why are you asking me these things?”

“Well, mother… She asked me to meet one of the princes of the Tokowa Lands. Now that Aline is married… I know she hopes I will fall in love some time soon, too. The prince… he is the queen’s sister’s son. The only male in the royal line there, and I know that ever since the eruption they have hoped for a marriage between him and me. It would strengthen the alliance… I know that it is what she is thinking. And she wants me to be married when I become steward… to keep in line with the old traditions.

But it always seemed so far away, something I shouldn’t have to worry about. But now, so much has changed… But I feel like I am a stone sitting in the river, not moving with the flow. I’m just… not ready for things like that. I want to become steward, I really do, I just don’t want things to move so fast…”

Ivy had no idea it would be such a relief to tell someone of this. She had been walking around with it for so long… And Twinkle Star’s face looked so understanding.
“Ivy… if you don’t want to, you’re not going to do it. You know as well as I do that mother would never force you to marry. And you can become steward without marrying first. So what if it is an old tradition? We live in a new country now, and we simply cannot afford to do everything like we used to. Only get married if you want so in your heart. Aline married Junai because she loved him, not because she had to. And you should do the same. Maybe you can meet this prince, and see what comes of it, but make clear to mother it is not a promise.”

Was it really that simple? Ivy sighed.
“I know… But it is just all so heavy.”
“Everything is… when you are a princess. I discovered that a long time ago. You must find your own way to deal with it, Ivy.”
“I know. I will. But… will you help me?” She had never thought she would ask Twinkle Star for help. But now that she had shared her problem with her, it seemed only natural.
“Of course I will. Now… how is that soup coming along?” Twinkle Star smiled, and Ivy was glad that Twinkle Star saw she needed a change of subject for now.

The moon was waning above them when she came to her.
“Rain. How is your summoning coming along? Is she getting the message? I’m tired of staying out here for so long. He will not be pleased this way.”
She sighed. Would she just cut it out already?
“I’m working on it. She will come, and it will be tonight. It will not be long. Now be silent, and let me do my work.”