Memories of Kiyoi

“Ah, my lady princess Twinkle Star!” Aline’s mother said when they spotted her. Twinkle Star really didn’t feel like having some kind of social talk, but there was no avoiding it now.
“Hello there, lady and mister Daiya.” Twinkle Star said politely.
“It was a beautiful ceremony, was it not? I can’t believe how much our Aline has grown!”
“Yes, it was… very beautiful.” Twinkle Star said absently.
“We are so glad Aline has met such a fine man, Twinkle Star. And she is becoming a steward, too! And all because she met you. Thank you, Twinkle Star. For everything.” Aline’s parents actually bowed before her.
“No… no problem, really…” She had to get out of there, she realised. The reception of the wedding was packed with ponies, all there to congratulate the happy couple.

Twinkle Star felt she had reached her limit. She didn’t want to talk with all these ponies at all. So many thoughts floated in her head; she had to get some fresh air or she was afraid she would faint. So many emotions played with her heart right now, and the last thing she needed were the happy thoughts from others.
“I’m sorry, I have to… I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Twinkle Star clumsily excused herself and quickly walked out of the room, through the corridors and rushed into the garden.

Thankfully, all was quiet there. All the ponies were inside the castle, in the throne room, congratulating Aline and Junai, unaware of the silence outside. It was a perfect evening in spring. The still somewhat soft sun was setting on the horizon, but the smell of a summer night already floated in the air. The scenery carried her back to a year ago, an evening on a bridge, when the red of the sky still remembered her of the horrible events of seventeen years ago.

But not anymore. Not now. She was only reminded of a time where the future had felt so different.
“I was thinking about how it would be to stay here with you. To be here with you.” She still remembered his voice so clear, so real in her mind. Of course, Twinkle Star realised, I’ve been through so much and so many good things happened ever since I left him. After all, I met Aline, found out Stelline was alive and brought her here, found two of my aunts alive and three cousins… Not to mention I made up with my mom.

Leaving him back then had been the best choice. It had brought so many good to her life, and to the lives of ponies she cared about. Wasn’t it ironic that Aline and Junai would never even have met if it wasn’t for her leaving Kiyoi? And even when she left him, she had thought she would be able to go on with her life, and in time forget about him. And for a long time, she actually had. So much had changed the last year that she hardly even had time to remember him.

But now that things had calmed down a bit, and She was constantly confronted with his brother, who did resemble him in quite a few ways… it wasn’t that she was jealous of what Aline had. The only thing that was haunting her, she realised now while she noticed the weak stars already greeting her from the still red sky, was that Aline had something she would never have. Not with Kiyoi, not with anyone.

She felt as if her life was all about serving others, like she had to give up Kiyoi in order for Aline to find her love.
“I’ll never see him again, won’t I?” She asked the silent evening, but all she got for a response was a silent breeze, playing with her hair.
“Not even a small moment…” She was disappointed in herself when she realised she was letting sadness take over. Only there, in the darkness of the evening, surrounded by the young flowers of the castle gardens, did she realise how lonely she actually felt.

She touched the crown pendant hat she wore around her neck. Back when she had decided to stay with Kiyoi, it had lost it’s shine. The river Fiume had given it it’s shine back when she asked whether she belonged in the new lands, which in the end had convinced her to go back home.

“Hey.” Twinkle Star started. She quickly recognised Aline, standing behind her.
 “Hey. What are you doing out here?” She asked, not really sure whether she was happy to see her friend or not.
“Seeing where you are. Why did you go outside?”
“No reason… It was just a bit too crowded in there. I needed some fresh air, that’s all.” Twinkle Star lied. She could see in her friends eyes that Aline didn’t really believe her, but she let it go for the moment.

“I still don’t really believe it, you know… That I’m a married woman now. I feel like I’ve grown up so much in just one year.” Aline began. Twinkle Star really didn’t feel like talking about this, but she realised this must all be a bit confusing for her friend as well.
“Well, you have, Aline… Whether you are married now or not. You’ve… grown up. Become more responsible. My mother was smart to appoint you as the new steward. You’ll do an awesome job.”

Even in the coming darkness Twinkle Star could see her friend blush.
“Well, thank you… And I know what you say is true, it just… doesn’t feel like it yet, you know.”
“Yes, I… know what you mean.” Twinkle Star replied, not really sure what she meant by that. A silence filled the air, and Twinkle Star was a bit unsure of what to say. She really didn’t feel like having a long talk right now; she wanted to be alone and think. But she didn’t want to abandon her friend either.

“Are you really okay, Twinkle Star?” Aline asked again.
“Yes, I told you I was! Why can’t you believe me?” Twinkle Star said, irritated. She didn’t mind talking with Aline, but it was not like she could help her with her problems anyway.
“I do… I’m sorry, Twinkle Star… I just thought, you’ve been so… absent lately. I… miss you, twinkle Star. Ever since you came back from Madash, things have changed so much. Not just because of everything that has happened, but between us as well.”

“Yeah, well, things don’t always stay the way you want them to. Sometimes things just have to change. It’s just something you’re gonna have to learn how to live with.” Twinkle Star snapped. Why was Aline talking about this anyway. Things change. She had realised that now. Even when they changed for the worse, she just had to learn how to deal with it, right?
“But Twinkle Star, that’s true and all, but… we’re friends… I just thought…”
“Well, don’t. I’m going to put Câlin in bed.”

Without saying another word, Twinkle Star trotted back towards the castle. She knew she must have hurt Aline, but for a moment she didn’t really care. Why couldn’t Aline see she was having a hard time right now? She had told Aline about Kiyoi. She knew Kiyoi was Junai’s brother. And yet she hadn’t asked once if this was maybe a bit hard for her. Twinkle Star felt horribly upset, and even though she knew this wasn’t Aline’s fault, she really couldn’t be around her right now.

Luckily, it didn’t take her long to find Câlin. She was sitting at a table with Tsuyo and two other little girls Twinkle Star had never seen before, but were probably children of ponies who were visiting.
“Hi there Twinkle Star.” Tsuyo greeted her.
“Hey, Tsuyo… I come to take Câlin to bed. It’s way past her bedtime already.” Luckily for her, Câlin didn’t really mind. Twinkle Star could see the little girl looked tired, anyway. After Câlin was done saying goodbye to Tsuyo and the two other children, they once again left the throne room and went upstairs.

“Did you enjoy yourself today, Câlin?” Twinkel Star asked, and she was surprised to learn she was honestly curious about it.
“Yes, I guess… The wedding was nice. Lady Aline looked really gorgeous. She enjoyed my present.” Câlin said proudly.
“I told you she would. It was really pretty.” Twinkle Star winked. Câlin had made a really beautiful bouquet of flowers with a vase she had painted herself. Of course Twinkle Star had seen Câlin give it to Alnie, and she had seen the honest joy on her face.

“You look tired.” Câlin said suddenly. Twinkle Star had not forgotten Câlin’s abnormal sense for things like this, and she had suspected some comment or another.
“I know, Câlin. It was a really busy day, was it not? There were so many ponies… You look tired yourself.”
“So many ponies…” Câlin repeated, “So many emotions. Not all good.” They had reached Câlin’s room, and Câlin stared at her with her big round eyes. Twinkle Star knew Câlin meant her. And she knew she would have to explain it somehow…
“Listen, Câlin…” She said when she entered the room and lit a candle, “It’s been a hard day for me. I’m really happy for lady Aline, and I had a wonderful time at the wedding.

But like I said before, this wedding reminds me of some unpleasant decisions I had to make in the past. That’s why my feelings about this all have been a bit mixed. But it’s okay, Câlin. I will apologize to lady Aline tomorrow morning. I won’t act on my feelings, I promise.”
“That’s what mommy said…” Twinkle Star was shocked by Câlin’s sad eyes. Did she remind her of her mother in such a way? No, that couldn’t be, right?
“Câlin… I’m not your mother. I never will be. But I will take care of you. I promise you that. I won’t act on these feelings if it can hurt either you, myself, or anyone else. Okay?” Twinkle Star gave Câlin her plush teddybear as she climbed into her bed. “Okay.”

“Now… do you want me to tell you a story before you go to bed?”
“Yes… Could you tell me the story of the princess with the silver hooves again?” Twinkle Star smiled. She had told this story about a dozen times already, but it was Câlin’s favourite. She couldn’t deny it was a great story, and she had loved it when she had been young.
“A long time ago there was a princess, born with silver hooves. And every time she put an hoof on the ground, a flower appeared. Not just outside in the soil, but inside her castle, too…”

She left the dark hole that was the entrance of His hideout when it was completely dark outside. She almost slipped on the wet stones. Strange… she hadn’t noticed it had rained. She usually did. But maybe being around Him… dulled her senses somehow. She had been there for a long while, after all. Talking about the crown she had brought him a few months ago. He was almost done experimenting with it.

Apparently Illuvia had created a masterpiece. Considering who she was, it wasn’t that surprising that she was able to pull something like this off. Her mission to get Câlin had been put on hold for the time being. He didn’t need her right now. The new crown would do it’s job just fine. All he needed now was the one who was going to wear it, and it had to be His strongest servant.

She dreaded getting her. Even though they grew up together with Him, they hadn’t had much contact. But she was the only one who was able to make her rain disappear. The only one stronger than… That’s why he usually kept her close. And even in the darkness, it didn’t take long for her to find her. She once again didn’t bother to hide her powers. They were simply floating out of her.

She was standing on top of a rock, staring out into the darkness of the night. “He wants you inside.” She simply said to her. She didn’t even bother to reply, but she knew her message was delivered. This job was done; it was time to go on her next mission. Yet while she walked away, she couldn’t help overhear her whispering to the darkness.

“Ruki…”