Câlin’s loneliness

“It’s a pink one… a pink flower.” Câlin pointed at the little flower, lost in a sea of young, green spring grass.
“Yes… you’re right. I wonder how it got here.” Twinkle Star told the little girl at her side. Câlin softly took the flower and put it in her basket.
“Maybe mommy left it here for me to find.” 
“Maybe she did, Câlin… maybe she did.” Twinkle Star followed when Câlin walked on through the meadow, looking for more flowers.

It wasn’t officially spring yet, and flowers were quite hard to find, but Câlin had insisted to go out and find some flowers for Lady Aline. Lady Aline… Twinkle Star still had trouble to adjust to that title. Of course, she would only be called that after she was installed as an official steward, but everyone called her that already. Besides, the big wedding was only a few days away.

So much had changed the last few months… ever since she got Câlin to take care of. When she had gotten home on that day… When she explained who Câlin was, the first reaction of her sisters was to throw her and Câlin out of the castle. After all, Câlin was the daughter of Illuvia, the one that had tortured their mother and killed Crystal… Only Regina’s interference saved her. For some odd reason, Regina accepted Câlin from the moment she saw her. She told her daughters that Câlin should not be judged by her mother’s actions, and that if she had to live under Twinkle Star’s care, she could do so in her castle.  Yet she told Twinkle Star, privately, that Câlin was completely her responsibility.

So ever since that day, Twinkle Star had taken care of Câlin, and had done hardly anything else. In time, her sisters and the others began to realise Câlin was not like her mother; only an innocent girl, caught up in the mess her mother had created. Câlin loved the attention she received, something she never had before. She had her own little room now, with toys, plush animals… Twinkle Star had been surprised to hear she had never had any of those things.

She had tried to live up to Chifre’s warnings. But I know she has to be kept save. She should not be exposed to strong royal powers, nor to any negative form of energy.  You must protect her, and only you are able to. Fortunately everyone at the castle knew how to control their powers. She had tried to shield Câlin as much as she could against the sadness everyone felt for the loss of Crystal… or the fact that her mother was the one who had caused that sadness. For Câlin still mourned her mother every single day. Twinkle Star found it really hard to understand that Câlin would love her mother so. She didn’t think Illuvia had been capable to return love… But even Chifre had said so. How could she love one person so much and take the life of another without even having second thoughts?

Câlin never really cried, and she rarely showed any emotions, which made it hard for her to understand how she was actually feeling. Câlin often gave her the feeling that she was in a different place entirely. Twinkle Star had tried to explain to Câlin that her mother was now a part of the eternal light of the stars, but at the time she hadn’t been sure whether Câlin understood. Yet recently, when she checked on Câlin at night, she had found her staring out of the window, gazing towards the stars. She was sad, very sad, Twinkle Star knew for sure. She didn’t know why exactly why she was so sure, but she felt it, deep inside her own soul… Câlin’s deep loneliness.

But Twinkle Star tried to make Câlin as comfortable as possible. She knew she would never be able to take her mothers place, nor did she want to, but she hoped she could at least make Câlin feel safe. And lately she felt that in that, at least, she was succeeding.

But her own life still felt empty, hollow. It took her a while to realise she would never, ever see Crystal again. Even after the funeral, she somewhere still believed her sister would come back. Only when the snow began to melt, about a month ago, did she begin to realise her sister was indeed gone.

Never again… Even now, thinking about it brought tears to her eyes. When Câlin looked at her, Twinkle Star forced a smile on her face. She didn’t want Câlin to know she was still sad.
“Why don’t we go look over there? Sometimes flowers grow better near shadow and trees.” Twinkle Star suggested, while she pointed towards a small group of trees. “Sure.” Câlin whispered, but her words sounded as loud as usual inside Twinkle Star’s head.

“Do you think Lady Aline will like my gift?” Câlin asked while they walked towards the trees.
“I’m sure she will. We’ve found so many pretty flowers so far, there’s no way she won’t like them.” Twinkle Star assured Câlin.
“Those are pretty…”  Câlin said when she noticed some small purple flowers near the trees. While Câlin was picking the flowers, Twinkle Star realised it was almost time for them to go back. Câlin was supposed to meet Tsuyo, who would learn her to arrange her flowers properly.

When Câlin was done with the purple flowers, they walked back towards the castle. Every time she got home, Twinkle Star realised how busy it had become. Not only did she, Stelline, Aline and Junai live there now, there were also two new servants hired, and one lady to take care of Stelline. She was in the last weeks of her pregnancy now, and the baby could arrive any moment. Silently Twinkle Star hoped the baby would come soon, for there was little left of the strong unicorn Stelline once was. She barely had the strength to get out of bed anymore. Regina had explained unicorn children often took way more energy from their mother before they were born, because they were a creation of their mother only, and needed all their strength to survive.

Yet the castle seemed to become more and more like a real castle, with servants, a lot of princesses… Sometimes, it almost began to feel like her old home, back in the old lands. She was sure Ivy wasn’t that happy with it. She was used to having privacy, and the castle had always been a place for only her, her sister and their mother. Recently, it was becoming so much more… the heart of the kingdom, which was about to become twice as large.

Fleur didn’t seen to have too many problems with it; she enjoyed all the attention and as it turned out, she loved to discuss about the new mansions that were going to be build; one for Aline, one for Ivy. Of course, Aline’s would be build first, because the old region didn’t really need a steward yet; but Aline had to watch over the development of the new region.

Aline… to think of her old friend gave Twinkle Star some mixed feelings. She was really glad her friend had been able to build her own life, and find her own love, and create her own future. It had been a good thing to bring her here, that much was sure. But it also meant Aline had grown up so much. She wasn’t the carefree girl she had met that summer. She was a woman now, a pony capable of taking care of her self and others around her.

“Hey, Twinkle Star, Câlin.” Twinkle Star saw Tsuyo approaching from the gardens. “Hi.” She responded.
“You two had any luck finding flowers out there? It looks like it’ll still be a while before they will grow here.” Tsuyo said while she overlooked the still green gardens.
“We found some. I guess it will be enough. Will you teach Câlin now?”
“Yes, sure. I’m done in the gardens for today anyway. Why don’t we go to the garden house, Câlin?” Câlin agreed without saying anything. Tsuyo said goodbye to Twinkle Star and promised to bring Câlin back in two hours.

Grateful for some time off, Twinkle Star entered the castle and immediately went to her own room. Even though she had had her room for a few months now, it still felt empty and hollow. She didn’t have much in it, a bed and a vanity, and it wasn’t that large either. But it was pretty, in it’s own way… a room meant for a princess,  someone she couldn’t help but feel she was not. Ever since her talk with Chifre she had been thinking a lot about her words. Her destiny was something different than that of her sisters. She was not born to recreate her old country. She wasn’t born to become a queen, nor born to serve this country.

She knew that now, but she didn’t know what she was born for yet. If not for her country and her family, then what for? She had to take care of and protect Câlin, she knew that much. She knew what she had to do in this world was linked to whatever Illuvia knew, but Illuvia wasn’t around to tell her anymore. She had wondered several times if Câlin knew anything about it, but she didn’t dare to ask her, at least for now.

When Twinkle Star was about to enter her room, she heard a familiar voice calling her name. Aline was just leaving her own room down the hall.
“Hey, Aline. How are you doing?” She replied, and closed the door to her room again.
“I’m doing just fine… I suppose I’m pretty nervous for the wedding. It’s only in a few days, you know.” Aline replied. It was unusual for Aline to look so nervous. Usually she took everything with a laugh. Even when she was officially introduced to the country as the future steward of the new parts, she didn’t seem nervous at all. And now she was even admitting it.

“That’s quite unlike you… to be nervous, I mean.” Twinkle Star noticed Aline blushed.
“Yeah, well… it’s a big thing, you know. It’s truly what I want, but it’s a big step. And I hope my parents will make it in time.” A messenger had been send to Aline’s parents to invite them, but he had yet to return, and there had been no news from her parents either.
“I’m sure they will.” Twinkle Star tried to assure her friend.
“Câlin is preparing her own little gift for you right now. I’m sure it will be a really beautiful day.”
Aline smiled gratefully. “I know. It will be great. Besides, I just got back from the hairdresser, we picked out the most beautiful hairdo in like, forever! And my gown will be… I’ve got no words for it, really!” To see that such trivial things could bring tears in Aline’s eyes from joy relieved Twinkle Star. It was good to see her old friend behave like usual.

“You’ll look beautiful, Aline. I’m sure you will.”
“So will you. I kind of… also picked out an hairdo for you. It’ll be beautiful, I swear. And you won’t have to cut it.” Aline winked, and Twinkle Star had to laugh. Her hair as amazingly long once again, and they knew cutting it wouldn’t solve anything; it would grow back in no time. 

“I know, Aline. It’ll be totally your day, you know that. I’ll wear any hairdo you like. As long as you don’t make me go bald or anything, I’m sure it will be fine.” Twinkle Star assured Aline, who looked thankful. Just as she was about to say something more, they noticed someone coming up the stairs. It turned out to be Junai, Aline’s fiancé.
“Hi dear!” He said cheerfully, and Twinkle Star once again noticed the twinkle in Aline’s eyes. She definitely loved him, that much was sure, and he loved her back just as much.

“Hello, honey.” Aline replied when he had reached them.
“Hello there, Twinkle Star.” Junai said. “How is everything with you today?”
“Just fine, thank you.” Twinkle Star replied politely.
“That’s good to hear. Say, Aline dear… What are you doing tomorrow morning?” Junai asked with a mischievous smile.
“Nothing that I can think of… why?”
“That’s good. Keep it free, then.”
“And why is this, exactly?” Aline asked curiously. “Oh… no reason. Maybe… you’ll see tomorrow.” Junai winked, and then continued to walk towards his own room.

“Someone’s got a surprise planned… I’d say.” Twinkle Star teased, which made Aline blush even more.
“I know… he’s probably planning to sneak of and have breakfast somewhere. He really can’t stand not being with me to much until the wedding.”
“Can you?” if possible, Aline became even redder and shook her head.
“I thought so. Well… Why don’t we go get a drink together? We’ll probably won’t see each other that often before the wedding… or after.” Twinkle Star proposed, and Aline gladly agreed.