Endless Nothing

“Can’t we take a break?” “no!” “Oh come on Twinkle Star, we’ve been walking all day! It’s dawn already! We can’t keep walking all the time, we need some rest and I’m tired and it’s been so hot all day!” “Oh, shut up Aline! If you’re so tired already then you’d better turn around right now! And take a drink out of Fiume if you’re so thirsty! What did you think this is, a holiday?” “No, but…” “Then keep walking!” Twinkle Star sighed. She couldn’t stand to hear any more complaining! All day long Aline had been asking for a break, talking about how tired she was… Well, she shouldn’t have come along in the first place! Twinkle Star had thought Aline was a quiet girl, a serious girl,  at least that was what she looked like when she was at her parents home. She never thought Aline would bother her this much, but she couldn’t have been more wrong. Aline just couldn’t stop talking! All day long Twinkle Star had been listening to Aline’s talking about her friends, her first love, how they broke up, about how boring her old village was, how annoying travellers could be, how she had always been interested in the Friendship Lands and a lot of other stuff that really didn’t interest Twinkle Star and to be honest, she hadn’t even listened to half of it. Of course, Aline had asked her billions of questions as well, about pretty much the same things that she had talked about herself, but Twinkle Star tried to avoid answering those questions. What was the point? It wasn’t any of Aline’s business and besides, they were only travelling together for a short period. She wouldn’t see her after that anyway, so why would she tell her personal stuff?

But she couldn’t help but to admit Aline did have a point this time. Twinkle Star was getting tired as well, and they had advanced a long way. They couldn’t see the mountains of the friendship lands yet, but Twinkle Star felt she was getting close. Fiume was getting purer every inch they came closer to it’s spring. Twinkle Star sighed. She didn’t like to admit others were right at all, but she was getting tired herself, too. “Aline, we will rest in an hour, when the sun is down.” Aline didn’t respond. That’s a first, Twinkle Star thought.

Twinkle Star couldn’t believe how dark it was here in this desert in night time. She had seen many dark places before, but here, there was nothing. Nothing at all, which was like that in day time of course, but in the night time it was so much more obvious. During the day you could at least see there was nothing, but now, even that was gone. It looked as if even the stars were driven away by this darkness. She and Aline were still walking next to the river, but Twinkle Star decided it was time to stop for tonight. She couldn’t believe how far it was. The forest that had been here once, it must have been huge… “Aline, we’re going to stop walking for tonight over here.” Aline didn’t reply, but Twinkle Star noticed she had stopped. “You got your own food with you, right? I only have food for one person. Did your mom make you a bag as well?” “No, but I do have food.” Twinkle Star looked up in surprise. “Why didn’t your mom make you a bag then? She made me one, I can’t believe she wouldn’t…” “Because I didn’t tell her I left, that’s why.” Aline snapped. “Oh, well, fine by me.” Twinkle Star took her food out of her bag. She decided to just eat two apples this night. She wasn’t hungry at all, even though she had walked all day. She felt more excited every inch she came closer to the friendship lands. She could feel it clearly now. It surprised her, to feel this, she couldn’t believe this feeling, this power, it was still there after 16 years, after everything was destroyed…

“You didn’t tell your parents that you left at all?” Twinkle star asked Aline, when they were sitting down eating their food. “I left them a note.” “I see. Don’t you think they’ll be worried?” “Why would I care! They kept my true past away from me for so long, it’s my turn now, it’s my life. Besides, you left just like this as well, didn’t you? So who are you to judge?” “That has nothing to do with this! It’s none of your business!” Twinkle Star yelled. A silence fell again. What on earth was wrong with that girl? First she keeps on talking about all kinds of nonsense that didn’t interest her at all, and now that Twinkle Star was showing some interest in her she was just being angry and selfish. “Why are you so mean all the time!” Aline suddenly yelled. “What? I am mean?” Twinkle Star looked up in surprise. Now what? “Yeah! All you can do is tell me to shut up and tell me what to do! You’re selfish, do you know that? Selfish! I made a huge mistake going with you, I just should’ve gone on my own!” Aline got up and walked to Fiume’s bank. There she sat down and stared in the water.”Then why didn.t you?” Twinkle Star asked. She was surprised at the soft tone of her voice. She felt angry allright, but somehow she couldn’t express her anger in words. She felt angry, but a little sad too… why? “I… I liked you, Twinkle Star, I thought it would be fun to travel with you…” Aline sobbed. Twinkle Star sighed. “Aline… I’m sorry. Why don’t you come sit over here and we’ll talk a bit? It’s no use going on like this.” She didn’t really wanted to talk, but she didn’t want Aline to cry either. I guess I have no choice, Twinkle Star thought. I really prefer to be just alone. But she cared more for Aline’s sadness than her own uncomfortable feelings, somehow.

“I was surprised at your reaction with your parents yesterday, Aline.” Twinkle Star said, when Aline sat with her again. “What do you mean?” Aline asked. “Well, you didn’t seem shocked  at all when your parents told you where you really came from. It was like you were told what you were going to eat for dinner that night!” Aline laughed. “Yeah, I know. I wasn’t surprised at all. Not at first, anyway. I guess things like this, you always know them somewhere deep inside. I only began to cry in the night, when I was in my own bed… I don’t really know wy. Nothing had to change, I suppose. I could have stayed there, I could have lived my live just as I did before… but I realised I would always be wondering if I did.” Twinkle Star nodded. “I know what you are talking about. Finding that thing you were born for, isn’t it?” Aline sighed. “I… Do you know anything about my family, Twinkle Star? Do you remember them?” Aline’s voice sounded a bit cold, distant.  “Yes,” Twinkle Star answered, “Well, not in particular. I was only a little girl at the time of the accident, and I didn’t know that much… I never really cared either. They didn’t really cared for me to know I guess. But the steward families… like your parents told, were in charge of certain regions of the kingdom. Even though they were independent families in the time we were born, they did originate from the royal family. Children from younger children of a queen, long ago, or so I heard. A queen who decided it was best to divide the country in the six regions, with a duchess at the head of each one. So the steward families were founded. So you and I are probably distant relatives.” Aline didn’t reply at once. “So I am royal?” she finally asked. Twinkle Star laughed. “No. Not in the way that I am, anyway, but I suppose you do have some guarding powers in you, so in that way, yes, you are royal. I don’t know how many o the steward families have survived. I never met any before I met you and your parents.” “Were they big, the steward families?” “Not particularly. They worked like the royal family did, the oldest child became the new Duchess. The younger ones worked for the older one, and their children weren’t part of the steward family anymore and lived somewhere else.” Aline was silent. Twinkle Star wondered what she was thinking about. Twinkle Star always knew what she had lost. How would it be to know you have lost the place where you belong, your family, without even being able to remember what it really was like? How would it be to only know your roots by stories of others? “I wish I could remember, Twinkle Star. I wish I would have been able to remember something. Anything. But I can’t. I tried to, I really did, but I can’t.” Twinkle Star smiled. “Don’t feel to bad about it, Aline. Maybe you don’t know what you have left behind, but you don’t have to take that luggage with you. You can start somewhere all over.” Twinkle Star heard Aline yawn. “I’m sorry Twinkle Star, I’m just really tired… I’m not used to walking so long. I guess I’m going to sleep.” “Goodnight, Aline.” Twinkle Star said. “Goodnight, Twinkle.”

Thirty minutes later Twinkle Star was still awake. She couldn’t really sleep; the rocks were poking her entire body and she couldn’t get her mind to rest. She felt sorry for Aline. She felt sorry for anyone who didn’t know… She suddenly remembered her younger sister Ivy. How did she handle it when she heard the truth? Aline and Ivy were similar in some ways, Twinkle Star realised. They both didn’t know where they came from, they both found out when they were sixteen… Why hadn’t she showed a bit more interest in Ivy? Her life had changed so much in such a short time as well, and Twinkle Star never thought of it but logical that she accepted the fact that it had changed. Was she really selfish?

“Mom? Are you still up?” Ivy said. She was just on her way to her room, when she noticed light coming out of the throne room. Ivy saw her mother standing next to the window, staring out in the dark night. “Yeah… I guess I just couldn’t sleep.” Regina replied to her daughter. Slowly Ivy entered the room. It was lit by two candles on each side of the throne. “What is it, then? I thought you weren’t having sleeping problems, lately?” Ivy asked her mother. “I didn’t. Something… something is changing, Ivy. Don’t you feel it?” Ivy looked at her mother, confused, and then looked out of the window as well. A single bright star was shining in the distance. Was it the one she had seen some time ago? No… it wasn’t. it definitely wasn’t bright enough. “No, I… I’m afraid I don’t. What’s changing than, mom?” For a while Regina said nothing.  “I don’t really know, either,” she said after a while, “but I do feel it. It’s a strange feeling, something like… a light is appearing somewhere. Like something is reaching someone who has been sleeping for so long, someone we all need. It feels like it’s the beginning of something important, something that will change anything… but I don’t know whether it’s for good or for worse.” “Wow… that’s a lot of mysterious talk there, mom. You sure you’re ok?” Regina laughed. “I know honey, and I’m definitely fine. Don’t you worry about it. You just go to sleep.” “I will mom.” Ivy gave her mother a little kiss on her cheek. “Goodnight, mom.” “Goodnight, Ivy.” Ivy walked out of the room, even more confused than before. What on earth was her mother talking about? Was she really ok? Ivy walked up the stairs to her room. A soft breeze came through the window in the corridor. She passed the door to Crystals room. She began to like Crystal more and more; she turned out to be a really nice pony, even though she had a weird habit of predicting what was going to happen to you that day, which, Ivy had noticed, was usually not right at all.

It’s cold in here, Ivy thought, when she entered her own little room; she noticed she had forgotten to close the door to the balcony. On the balcony she noticed how dark this night actually was. There were hardly any stars in the sky, even though there were no clouds either. But she had seen the bright star on the other side. This was strange… “Maybe that’s what mom was talking about, than.” She said to herself while she was closing her door.

“Twinkle! Twinkle wake up, you gotta see this!” No… not now, not this early, Twinkle star thought. “What?” She asked, while she kept her eyes closed. She didn’t feel like waking up at all. “Just wake up and open your eyes, you have to see it! Come on!” Aline said happily. “Okay, okay, but it better be good…” Slowly Twinkle star opened her eyes and was immediately blinded by the morning sun. “Look over there!” Aline pointed at the west. Twinkle Star didn’t really notice itat first as her eyes were still adjusting to the morning light, but after a while she saw it, too. It was no longer nothing she saw. It was far away, but it was obvious; there were mountains on the horizon…